Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 6 Wrap Up

Week 6 was highlighted by a stat correction victory by a Klan’s krew who looked like they had no shot going into the week. We were all excited looking at the scores thinking we were going to have our first tie of the year, but points being taken away from McManus handed the Klan their 3rd win of the year keeping them just 1 game back in the West. Elsewhere around the league, we saw Simba finally crack the Hawkeye defense and put up an impressive 211.1 points. Also, The Legs had a nice bounce back week, and we saw the Hurricanes finally storm their way to a comfortable victory. Harbaugh fought out a win over the Chodes in a battle where Jordan Matthews struggled on Monday night keeping that one close until the 4th quarter.

Important notes:

  1. Take a look at these stats here. This gives a few different looks at the numbers and power rankings. Stats
  2. Please vote for the week 7 winners. I get lonely being the only one to vote on the match ups in the quick box score or preview ūüė¶

Week 6 Standings

East: Simba and Harbaugh are tied at first with the Turkeys gobbling not far behind. A storm is brewing in 4th place, though. State Farm is in a tough spot right now.

West: Everton finds themselves in an unusual spot in 1st place. Team noname, The Legs, and the Klan are all creepin right beind them at just 1 game back. The Chodes are in last, but a win this week gets him right back in the mix.

Week 6 Power Rankings

Power Rankings: Good job with the rankings, Mr. Commissioner.


Below is a look at the highlights and lowlights from the week. I’m not going to say much about McManus being the difference in their game with the Klan, but…..

Team of the Week: Kooper’s Klux Klan (KKK)

I wrote him off before the week started thinking that there was no shot for him to win this week. With huge weeks from Stafford and Calvin, he was able to prevail with a much needed win to keep him within striking distance.

Disappointing Team of the Week: Everton Hawkeyes (EVTN)

They continue to be mediocre at best. They had nice performances from their QB’s and WR’s were decent. But playing a RB in your flex and getting a total of 16.7 between those 3 players is not going to help you win games. He wasn’t going to win because Simbas roar was too strong, but he had a chance to climb a bit in total points/average score with weak match ups this week.

Player of the Week: Matthew Stafford (KKK)

This shouldn’t¬†be much of a shock since he has stuggeled much of the year and then comes out and puts up over 30 points and leads his NFL team to their first win of the year, and helps his real team (KKK) get their 3rd win of the year. If overtime didn’t happen in that game, the Klan would be sitting at 2-4 right now.

Disappointing Player of the Week: Eddie Lacy (RDBT)

He put up 4 points in a game where the Turkeys got lynched by the Klan by a difference of 7 points. Lacy is having one hell of a disappointing season thus far. We’ll see if this bye week will help him get healthy and maybe he’ll do something.

Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 3 Wrap Up

Week 3 was the highest scoring week we’ve had so far. ¬†The average score this week was 173.04 – 25.85 points higher than last week, and 23.49 points higher than week 1 (18.14 higher than week 2 & 16.43 points higher than week 1 if you remove the highest and lowest scores from each week – Week 1 – 149.06 Week 2 – 147.35 Week 3 165.49). Team Novack had the greatest fantasy performance this week than any of us have seen before with AJ Green leading the way with 46.7 points. Well done, lad.

Week 3 Power Rankings

Above are the week 3 power rankings. Biggest movers were the Sanky Legs moving up 4 spots due to another great week and  the biggest drop was the Chodes due to the Berger injury. He made a nice comeback in the Monday night game, but came up a little short (and wide like a chode typically does).

Week 3 Standings

This week saw the Hawkeyes move to 3-0 on the year despite being the lowest scoring team in the league while Team Novack moved from lowest scoring to highest scoring this week. Stumbles from State Farm, Denerd, Simba, Kooper, and the Chodes are helping the divisions not take any shape whatsoever. The both divisions are tight races. It’ll be interesting to see how these pan out.

Check out the updated statistics right here… you wankers.Couches Elite Official Stats

Team of the Week: Team Novack (NOVA)

K good job Jay. 270 points is okay. Watch out for Everton’s defense next week, though.

Disappointment of the Week: Ermahgerd Dehnerd (DROB)

T¬†The flying Denerds had a chance to take a stranglehold in the east which would have given him a two game lead early in the season, but he couldn’t get much to go his way this week. As long as he makes the playoffs, though, he’ll consider this a solid year.

Player of the Week: Devonta Freeman (VIZ) & Steve Smith Sr. (not to be confused with Steve Smith Jr) (CHI)

Co-Player of the week honors this week go out to both of these guys. Devonta took advantage of Tevin Coleman being¬†injured and being the primary back now. This helped Simba stay in the game for the time being but the rest of his team couldn’t help him out.

Steve Smith¬†SR¬†(not JR) helped the Hurricane gain some steam and get his first win of the year. Though he is really weird looking (seriously go look at his picture in ESPN), this is two weeks in a row he has been Ditka’s top player.

Disappointing Player of the Week: Tyler Eifert (DROB) & Terrance Williams (JL)

Both of these players can be blamed as part of the reason their teams lost (in fantasy, of course). Eifert had a couple chances to score, but they were negated by penalties. Terrance Williams looked like a good pickup with Dez being injured but it looks like a lot of those targets are going to the 3 backs.

Injuries: Berger (8=D~), Davante Adams (JL), Sammy Watkins (VIZ)

Watkins is listed as day-to-day which is good news. Davante Adams is listed as having a sprained ankle and listed as missing “some time”. He’ll need to be watched closely later in the week to see if he is playable.

Berger is the injury of the week. This is a tough loss for the Chodes, but there are some decent QB’s in free agency as well as sitting on some people’s bench so he may need to make a move there to counter that injury. Listed out 4-6 weeks – hopefully on the earlier side to help get him back into contention.

Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Hurricane Ditka, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 2 Wrap Up

Week 2 seemed to leave a few owners scratching their heads, while others are pleasantly surprised with the play from their team. We saw the high scorer from last week look like an idiot with stupid low numbers and injuries, and the lowest performer from last week come out as the highest scorer. Wowza. The parody of this league boy let me tell ya….
Here are the standings and power rankings after 2 weeks of play:
 Week 2 Standings
Week 2 Power Rankings
Now let’s take a look at the weekly awards:
Team of the Week: Do The Sanky Leg (REAR)
Brett wins the weekly honors of TotW due to a nice bounce back from his lads. With a 70.1 pt swing from week 1 to week 2, he shows that he really does have a solid team. Larry Fitz somehow actually played well for a week and could maybe be a solid player this season. He also had nice showings from Cam, OBJ, and Brandon Marshall. Nice week, Sanky Legs.
Biggest Disappointment of the Week: Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys (RDBT)
His golden boy gets outscored by 10, his top QB and 1st round pick get hurt, his top scorer from week 1 puts up 1.6 points, and his match-up defense lost him 3 points. A lot of question marks going into week 3.
Game of the Week: Everton Hawkeyes 154.9 Def. Hurricane Ditka 138.4
There weren’t many close games that came down to the wire. This was the only game where there was really a chance of being overtaken at the end of the week. The Flying Ditkas needed Ivory to outscore Hilton or Moncrief¬†by 16.1 points to win. The Wild Hawkeyes played the wrong Colt’s receiver which gave him a chance, but Ivory couldn’t break anything out to give them a chance.
Simba’s v Denerds was an honorable mention as GOTW. (Hey, Julio)
Player of the Week: Larry Fitzgerald (REAR)
I never thought I would be posting him as player of the week. Good for him.
Worst Player of the Week: Andrew Luck (DROB)
Nobody would have let Kyle hear the end of it if Luck scored -3 points and The Simba’s won (especially the kids we played in flag!!!)
Injuries: Romo (CHI), Lacy (RDBT), Brees (RDBT), Stafford (KKK), Miller (NOVA)
Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 1 Wrap Up

We’re all excited that fantasy football is back. But I think we’re all more excited that fanstasy football is back. Week 1 provided more questions than answers for some owners, while others are confident that they are going to repeat as champions. In an interview I conducted with the Fighting Derhnerd’s owner Kyle Novack, he said “I’m excited for Couches Elite to be back. My goal for this year is to make the playoffs. Winning would be great, but I think making the playoffs would be a great step in the right direction for my program. Hello, Julio.”

Attached is the week 1 stats.Couches Elite Official Stats

Let’s take a look at the highs and lows of week 1.

Team of the Week: Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys (RDBT)

With the return of the fantasy football season came the Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys picking up right where they left off last year. Kanz’ roster was lead by kicker Brandon McManus with 54 points followed by Keenan Allen with 32.6 points even though he had 54 catches on the day. We’ll see if he can keep his momentum going in a week 2 match up against newcomer Jake from State Farm (JL).

Biggest Disappointment of the Week: Do the Sanky Leg (REAR)

At first glance, I liked the Sanky Legs as the strongest team in the league. I expected them to be in the running for the high score of the week this week, but with some disappointing performances, they drop to 0-1 (0-1) on the year against a nearly equally bad performance from the Everton Hawkeyes.

Game of the Week: Koopers Klux Klan (156.5) Def. Grand Rapids Chodes (155.4)

This one was thought to be over going into the late Monday Night Football game with a poor performance from rookie Christina Aguilera only putting up 1.5 points. Then came Carlos Hyde. The back who many thought would flop in a sub-par offense turned out to put up numbers more like Adrian Peterson than Adrian Peterson did. All Minnesota needed to do was get a first down and Grand Rapids would be 1-0 on the year, but they couldn’t convert and Hyde did his thing. Sucks to be a Chode.

Player of the Week: Carlos Hyde (KKK)

As noted above, Hyde looked great. The reason he inched out POTW is because his efforts helped the KKK knock off the Chodes. 168 yards and 2 touchdowns and a classic Ohio State spin move will be how he is remembered in his Week 1 performance. It sucks to be a Chode.

Worst Player(s) of the Week: Greg Olsen (REAR), Joe Flacco (NOVA), Nelson Agholor (KKK), Peyton Manning (REAR), Calvin Johnson (KKK), Brandon McManus (RDBT).

Greg Olsen is my surprise worst player of the week here. I expected big things from him with with Kelvin Benjamin being out for the year. We’ll see if Cam can get him the ball in week 2 and beyond.

Brandon McManus made the list because RDBT is going to rely on him too much this season to carry his team to the promise land. He doesn’t have what it takes. That’s Hauschka’s job.

Injuries: Dez Bryant (VIZ), T.Y. Hilton (EVTN), DeSean Jackson (EVTN), Andre Ellington (DROB), Matt Stafford (KKK), CJ Anderson (8=D~)