Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Hurricane Ditka, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 2 Wrap Up

Week 2 seemed to leave a few owners scratching their heads, while others are pleasantly surprised with the play from their team. We saw the high scorer from last week look like an idiot with stupid low numbers and injuries, and the lowest performer from last week come out as the highest scorer. Wowza. The parody of this league boy let me tell ya….
Here are the standings and power rankings after 2 weeks of play:
 Week 2 Standings
Week 2 Power Rankings
Now let’s take a look at the weekly awards:
Team of the Week: Do The Sanky Leg (REAR)
Brett wins the weekly honors of TotW due to a nice bounce back from his lads. With a 70.1 pt swing from week 1 to week 2, he shows that he really does have a solid team. Larry Fitz somehow actually played well for a week and could maybe be a solid player this season. He also had nice showings from Cam, OBJ, and Brandon Marshall. Nice week, Sanky Legs.
Biggest Disappointment of the Week: Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys (RDBT)
His golden boy gets outscored by 10, his top QB and 1st round pick get hurt, his top scorer from week 1 puts up 1.6 points, and his match-up defense lost him 3 points. A lot of question marks going into week 3.
Game of the Week: Everton Hawkeyes 154.9 Def. Hurricane Ditka 138.4
There weren’t many close games that came down to the wire. This was the only game where there was really a chance of being overtaken at the end of the week. The Flying Ditkas needed Ivory to outscore Hilton or Moncrief by 16.1 points to win. The Wild Hawkeyes played the wrong Colt’s receiver which gave him a chance, but Ivory couldn’t break anything out to give them a chance.
Simba’s v Denerds was an honorable mention as GOTW. (Hey, Julio)
Player of the Week: Larry Fitzgerald (REAR)
I never thought I would be posting him as player of the week. Good for him.
Worst Player of the Week: Andrew Luck (DROB)
Nobody would have let Kyle hear the end of it if Luck scored -3 points and The Simba’s won (especially the kids we played in flag!!!)
Injuries: Romo (CHI), Lacy (RDBT), Brees (RDBT), Stafford (KKK), Miller (NOVA)
Jake From State Farm, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys

Matchup Preview: Return of Dumb Bald Turkeys (RDBT) vs. Jake From State Farm (JL) – Week 2 – (Kinda)

Drunk Kanz Jake and Kamp

I don’t have time to do a full match preview on these two. And Frankly, they don’t deserve it as they both Suck. Here is a very shortened version

QBs: Brees should have a huge game against the Bucs today, and Kanz’s love is all Kaep needs to have a great game. Advantage Turkeys.

RBs: Eddie Lacey will struggle against the Seahawks, but him and Forte are still a better combo than Jeremy Hill and Frank Gore. Advantage Turkeys.

WRs: Antonio Brown, Allen Robinson, and Davonte Adams are an underrated crew as a whole, they can be really good. And although Emmanuel Sanders gave Kanz a good start, it won’t be enough to overcome Jake’s Receivers. Advantage State Farm.

TE:  Gronk. That is all. Advatage State Farm.

Flex: Terrence Williams takes over as the #1 receiver for Dez Bryant in Dallas, while Kanz is breaking out Kendall Wright who gets to deal with Joe Haden duty all day against the Browns. Advantage State Farm.

I’m predicting this as the upset of the week in the highest scoring matchup. Jake from State Farm edges out the Dumb Bald Turkeys, 168.8- 160.2.

Everton Hawkeyes, Hurricane Ditka

Matchup Preview: Hurricane Ditka (CHI) vs. Everton Hawkeyes (EVNT) – Week 2

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This is the biggest rivalry of week 2. After 18 years of friendship, it could all come crashing down if Dokk’s superstars on the mighty purple overcome Carston’s squad in a tight matchup. Celebrities are even talking about this matchup. East High Wildcat superstar Troy Bolton says “I hope Carston wins, based on his look, I like his Steez”. But New York baller Barney Stinson chimed in as well, adding “Dokk is bringing the party, and parties supply woo girls, so I think he will take this matchup. Woo.” With the country seemingly split on these friends and rivals, it should be a show no matter how it turns out.

QBs: It’s all about matchups to determine who has the advantage in the Quarterback scenario. Dokk is bringing out Matt Ryan who is going against the Giants secondary that allowed Tony Romo to throw for 3 Touchdowns and 356 yards last week, albeit a lot of that was in the two minute drill late in the game. Ryan should find success again this week, especially when targetting his superstar receiver Julio Jones. He also has Teddy Bridgewater who although he struggled last week in San francisco, will have his chances against a Lions secondary that made Philip Rivers look like god last week. Hurricane Ditka also has some favorable matchups this week as Romo should be able to continue his hot start of the season with a matchup with the Eagles who Ryan killed with ease last week. And the well traveled, largely hated, always inconsistent Eli Manning will go up against the Atlanta secondary who came back down to earth in the second half of Monday night football last week after a great start against the high flying Philly defense. I’ve gone back and forth on who has the advantage, and I just cannot decide. Push.

RBs: Last week, Chris Ivory showed that he is a legitimate fantasy starter this year for the Jets, running for 91 yards and 2 TD’s on the way to 23 points. His success should continue against a Colts defense who has struggled against the run in the recent past. Jonathan Stewart was Carston’s other starter last week, but with a porous offense around him, couldn’t find his way even while being the sole running back in Carolina. He will not be starting this week as Atlanta Rookie Tevin Coleman gets the nod against the Giants. Melvin Gordon and Danny Woodhead combined for 129 total yards and 2 touchdowns against the Lions defense last week. Detroit now plays Adrian Peterson, who should have a huge week because, well, he is much better than the San Diego duo. Add in that Everton has Justin Forsett who should get a lot of carries in the beloved Garbage Time against the raiders to put up a good score and the Everton Hawkeyes have the advantage.

WRs: Here is a stat for you. In the last 8 regular season games, the Carolina Panthers Defense has not allowed the leading pass catcher on the opposing team to achieve more than 60 yards once in those 8 games. The list of guys they have shut down: Jimmy Graham, Jeremy Maclin, Julio Jones (twice), Mike Evans, Charles Johnson, and Josh Gordon. Things don’t look great for DeAndre Hopkins this week. But with Carston’s other receivers being Brandin Cooks going against the lowly Buccaneers, and Amari Cooper with the pass happy raiders offense back, the group as a whole should have a fine week. Dokk on the other hand has dealt with the injury bug. His receivers this week are Julian Edelman vs. the Bills defense that has been pretty stout, Marques Colston who may be the third receiver on that team, and Donte Moncrief who is subbing in for the injured TY Hilton. They will be better than the seem at first look, but not enough to overcome Carston’s guys. Advantage Ditka.

TE: Heath Miller (EVTN) or Jordan Cameron (CHI)? Does it really matter? Both guys have TD potential, or bust potential. Add in the fact that I still don’t know the difference between Jordan Cameron and Cameron Jordan and I don’t really have much to write about. Let’s give it another Push. Sidebar, Miller is that guy that every team should have. You know, that guy who whenever he does something the whole crowd yells out “Heeeeeeeeath”. Yeah, that’s awesome.

Flex: Here is where I believe there could be a separating factor between the two teams, it’s just not clear which way yet as both selections are high reward, high risk guys. Ditka is playing Steve Smith who although is old, and didn’t perform last week, has a favorable matchup with the raiders this week. How favorable you ask? The bad news is their starting safeties and best secondary players are Nate Allen and Charles Woodson, and as painful as it is for me to say it, neither are that good anymore. The worse news? Both of them are hurt. That means a clear passing scenario for the Ravens, meaning their leading receiver Smith, should get plenty of action. Dokk is using Lance Dunbar, the running back for the Cowboys who is used predominately in the pass game. With Dez Bryant out, he could get a lot of action. Overall, I go with the known commodity, Advantage Ditka.

Overall, I think this is another good matchup, but the injuries are just too much to overcome for The Everton Hawkeyes. Ditka wins this one 139.0- 122.4

Do the Sanky Leg, Kooper's Klux Klan

Matchup Preview: Kooper’s Klux Klan (KKK) vs. Do Da Sanky Leg (REAR) – Week 2

Brett Kid Bs BathroomIf there is a matchup anywhere in the country with two teams with more outdated team names, I would love to see it. Kooper’s Klux Klan continued his playoff run of last season with an opening day win against the Grand Rapids Chodes on a last second play by Carlos Hyde. There may be an impending petition to boycott the win because of the Klan’s owners public dislike of Hyde. When asked about it B’s responded by saying “I’ve always liked Hyde, ever since he had that huge game against the Vikings last week, I’m an OG fan”. Do Da Sankey Leg struggled last week after having a promising team heading into the season. He was defeated by the Everton Hawkeyes, who had struggles of their own but were thankful for the egg that Brett’s team laid. Both teams are looking for better overall performances from their teams this week.

QBs: Brett got off to a hot start in Thursday’s game with Peyton Manning scoring 20.2 points while overcoming his second straight game with a Pick 6 and somehow managing to throw 3 TD passes even though his arm looks like it is going to fall off with every duck he tosses out there. This is a big upswing from his mediocre outing last weekend against the Ravens D and should help Brett’s confidence in continuing to use the Hall of Famer. Brett’s other QB is Cam Newton who is one of the most talented players in the NFL, but behind that brutal offense line and only having the Olsen, Funchess, and the stock boy from the local grocery store to throw to, he should have a rough season. Add in that he is playing the Texans, it doesn’t make it look any better. KKK tried the Jameis Winston experiment last week and the rookie had a rough enough outing that he lost his roster spot on B’s team , hopefully he can still afford to buy his beloved crab legs. The Klan now has Alex Smith who had a whopping 5.1 points in the Thursday night game and Matt Stafford who has shown inconsistency over the last few years and should continue against the average Minnesota Defense. Advantage Sanky Leg.

RBs: After over a week of adamantly trying to trade Carlos Hyde, B’s ended up having to keep him and ended up having an okay game for him… 182 combined yards and 2 TD’s, leading to a RB high in points of 34.2. Combine that with first round draft pick Jamaal Charles, who even though he lost the chiefs the game on Thursday night, already gave B’s a quick 20.7 points to start the week off right. His running backs are near the top if not the best in the league. The mighty Sanky’s starting running backs are more shaky. Rashad Jennings is in a running back by committee in New York, and although Marshawn Lynch was a top pick, had a fairly good game last week (17.4 points) against the Rams, and has a favorable matchup with Green Bay this week, he isn’t enough to outscore Hyde and Charles. Advantage Kooper’s Klan.

WRs: This is a pretty even matchup at initial look. Both teams have a big name guy who could have big games any given week with Brett’s OBJ and B’s Calvin Johnson. Give the edge to Beckham here because of the friendly matchup with the Atlanta secondary which struggled to stop anyone last year. On the second tier, Alshon Jeffrey is the better name, but with question marks about a leg injury lingering, he is not as safe of a play as one might have orginially thought. B’s has Andre Johnson who is the greatest receiver of all time. The aspect that I think gives Sanky leg the advantage in this category is the third spot, where Brandon Marshall against the Colts should be a much better point scorer than Nelson Aguilera (had 1.5 points last week) will be against Dallas.

TE: Greg Olsen should have a ton of targets in this offense since Cam Newton has no one else to throw to, but because the Offensive Line is so bad, Olsen has to stay in and block more than he ever has before. Last week against the Jaguars, Olsen only went out for passes 45% of the time, his lowest percentage in years. The end result? He only caught 1 ball for 11 yards and had only 3 targets on the game which was ranked 26th in targets amongst TE’s. B’s has Jason Witten who seems to be going in the exact opposite direction as Olsen, he caught two touchdowns last week and seems to be the go to target for Romo with Dez Bryant out. Add in the fact that they are playing a sub par Eagles defense this week and it is a clear Advantage KKK on this one.

Flex Option: Brett has limited options in his flex spot due to injuries, but it should be down to Larry Fitzgerald or Bishop Sankey. Larry is now a washed up receiver who should easily be the 3rd or 4th option in the passing game for Arizona, and even though he did have 14.7 points last week, I’m guessing it’s an outlier. Sanky on the other hand had a great week last week accounting for 22.6 points including a touchdown. Brett should decide to go with his namesake on this one. B’s has an interesting decision looming with Ameer Abdullah being a big play threat but possibly having limited chances in a running back by committee, or Mike Evans, the stud receiver who should always be in the lineup if he’s playing in the game. Either way, his options are probably better than Soulja Boy. Advantage Kooper’s Klan.

Overall, I think Brett’s team could struggle with difficult matchups at some spots, but the advantage after Thursday night and a dominating performance by OBJ propel him to a close win.

152.2 – 145.9

Grand Rapids Chodes, Team Novack

Matchup Preview: Team Novack (NOVA) vs. Grand Rapids Chodes (8=D~) – Week 2

Andy..Cool...  Jay has no pictures

The brothers of OG league members battle this week, both teams are 0-1 but in far different fashions. A-Dokk lost a heartbreaker to B’s in the last game. While Jay just got his ass handed to him by the Dumb Bald Turkeys. Both teams are looking to rebound in week 2.

QBs: The Chodes are the safer bet in week 2, but they do have some tough matchups. Aaron Rodgers may be the best QB, talent wise, that the NFL has ever seen, so I’m not too concerned about his matchup with the Seahawks, and Roethlisburger should be fine against a 49ers defense that is bound to fall off at some point after all of their losses in the off-season. Jay has a riskier approach with his QB’s. Mariotta started his career off in excellent fashion (25 points), and Sam Bradford had a much better second half than first half in his career resurgence’s first game. Who knows if this is sustainable but he is risking it. Advantage Chodes.

RBs: Cj Anderson is the key in this category, He is currently listed as questionable, and if he is ruled out for this week, Andy could be in trouble at the running back slot. He has LeSean McCoy, but his other running back would be either Giovani Bernard, or Shane Vereen.. yikes. Jay’s running backs aren’t flashy, but are solid. Lamar Miller should run all over Jacksonville, well because they are the Jags. He had a pretty poor week 1 (8.5 points), but should rebound nicely. Alfred Morris is Jay’s second running back, and he is matched up with the stout rams defense, but he could be running against the ’85 bears and would still be a better option than the Non-Anderson options Andy has. Advantage team Novack

WRs: Team Novack has a much stronger receiving core with DT, AJ green and Jeremy Maclin. All of them were pretty mediocre in week 1 with Thomas’s 13 points being the highest amongst them. This shouldn’t last as all of them could explode for some big points at any point. The chodes on the other hand are desperate for a shoot out in that Vikings-Lions game as he has both Mike Wallace and Golden Tate. Add in Vincent Jackson and he has what I like to call “The group that seems better than they are”. All could have big games, but it seems unlikely. Advantage Novack.

TE: Andy has Travis Kelce, who had a huge game last week with 29.6 points, yet somehow ended up 3rd best amongst Tight Ends. He plays in the Thursday night game and should put together another solid performance even if he is playing against the Broncos. You know that Alex Smith hates all receivers, that leaves Kelce with plenty of opportunity. Jay is keeping with his risky lineup with Ladarius Green, who the analysts have been promoting for years, He did have 18.4 points last week including a TD, but he was playing the lions who probably could have let Nick Sheridan throw for 300 yards. Take it for what it’s worth. Advantage Chodes.

Flex Options: Andy has some interesting options in the flex, all of which could do well for him because of their big play ability, or dud completely. His choices are Roddy White, James Jones who is the recent waiver pickup, or Torrey smith who is only worth having on the team for the chance of a 60 yard Touchdown catch. I’m not a huge fan of any of them but maybe he could trade Roddy to B’s, I heard he would trade the house to get the savy veteran on his team.

Jay has a choice between what looks like two guys, Joseph Randle who should have a pretty good game against the Eagles defense who gave up over a 100 yards rushing to the Falcons RB tandem last week, or Latavius Murray who is going up against Baltimore.. wait… nevermind. Randle is the clear choice. Advantage Jay.

Should be a close game, but just because Jay refuses to have a real team name and Andy’s picture is this…Andy's Logo I’m going with the Chodes in a tight match. 139.4 – 138.6

Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Return of Simba

Matcup Preview: Ermahgerd Dehrnerd (DROB) vs. Return of Simba (Viz) – Week 2

357_34563060996_494_n     Mike weird smile

This is the battle of the cousins in Week 2. Kyle is looking to continue his hot start after a dominating performance over Jake from State Farm in week 1, while Mike is still looking for revenge from when his older cousin picked off his pass in that infamous high school football game and prove once and for all, that he is the better of the Visbara clan cousins (Jay excluded for obvious reasons). Kyle is projected to win this one 142.5 to 140.0, but projections hardly show the entire picture. Let’s Start with Quarterback play:

QBs: You would think Kyle has the advantage here given that he used his 1st and 3rd round picks on Luck and Wilson in the draft, but after week one, the statistics show differently. The two pro-bowlers combined to score 32.8 points for the flying Dehrnerd’s, while mikes combination of Carson Palmer and Ryan Tannehill combined to put up 39.4 points here, all while having Tom Brady sit on the bench (A decision that could have been classified as bonehead play of the week if he didn’t win). Kyle’s quarterbacks did have tough matchups however and should bounce back nicely this week with slightly more favorable matchups. 

This could be considered a toss up, but because Brady has to deal with the Buffalo defense that Luck struggled with last week, the advantage still goes to Ermahgerd Dehrnerd.

RBs: Not even close, Simba has the advantage in this. Demarco Murray plays for Philly, and Mark Ingram can catch a billion passes in the New Orleans offense. Kyle on the other hand is starting a running back who couldn’t even make the couches roster (Deangelo Williams) and a hobbit from the LOTR (Sproles).

WRs: Have you heard that Kyle likes Julio Jones? I thought he was going to blow his load on Monday when Jones scored his first Touchdown, and I wouldn’t even blame him, dude is amazing. Combine that with Jordan Matthews who seems to be Sam Bradford’s favorite target, and you have a great receiving core. Mike’s group is hurting because of the injury to Dez Bryant, but solid nonetheless with PPR machine Jarvis Landry and big hitter possibility guy John Brown, but these two position groups are in different atmospheres. Advantage Kyle.

TE: Kyle will try and tell you that Tyler Eifert is the greatest thing since Jabrill Peppers, but his performance last week (32.4 pts) could be pretty flukey. Mike has Jimmy Graham who despite going against the Rams defense, was still able to put up a respectable 17.1 points. His performance should improve this week as he plays a Green Bay defense that can be considered shotty at times. Advantage: Return of Simba.

Flex Options: Mike has his choice between Sammy Watkins who couldn’t even muster up 0.1 points in the decimal system that everyone loves. Or Joique Bell, who Kyle seems to think is replaced by the next coming of Barry Sanders (If you haven’t noticed, he is a big fan of hyperbole) in Ameer Abdullah.

Kyle on the otherhand has possibly even worse choices:

  • Eddie Royal – 1.8 Pts last week
  • LeGarrette Blount – suspended last week and might have lost his spot to Dion Lewis
  • Duke Johnson – 2.2 pts and sits behind Isiah Crowell fer god’s sake
  • Brian Quick – Was a healthy scratch, meaning he could play, just wasn’t good enough to.

There isn’t a good choice with either team, It’s a wash.

Overall, I think the projections are close here and it should be a pretty even match. I’ll give an ever so slight edge to Kyle because I think Julio and Matthews will have a couple more massive games, a tough matchup for Brady allows Kyle to overcome an abysmal running back core and eek out a win.

Score 149.7 – 145.1

Mike and Kyle

Hopefully the battle this week doesn’t ruin the chance of any more precious moments between these two like this.

Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Waiver Wire is Hot After Week 1

Per usual, the waiver wire was hot after the first week of play. GM’s around the Grand Rapids area were busy Tuesday night making moves to add players who made a difference in week 1 and let go of some players who didn’t make the impact they thought they would. Manager Brett Reardon appears to be the only man in charge to not make any immediate moves. His roster looks solid already, so we’ll see if there are any moves to be made by him this week.

Let’s take a look at what action has taken place so far.

Everton Hawkeyes – 5 Additions

  • Added:
    • Lance Dunbar
    • Nate Washington
    • Austin Seferian-Jenkins
    • Donte Moncrief
    • Dion Lewis
  • Dropped:
    • Devin Funchess
    • Larry Donnell
    • Dorial Green-Beckham
    • Isiah Crowell

Return of Simba – 2 Additions

  • Added:
    • Titans D
    • Jermaine Kearse
  • Dropped:
    • Chiefs D

Kooper’s Klux Klan – 2 Additions

  • Added:
    • Percy Harvin
    • Ronnie Hillman
  • Dropped:
    • Rueben Randle
    • Jameis Winston

Team Novack – 2 Additions

  • Additions:
    • Ladarius Green
    • Marcus Mariota
  • Dropped:
    • Charles Clay
    • Alfred Blue

Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys – 1 Addition

  • Additions
    • Ravens D
  • Dropped
    • Jets D

Ermahgerd Dehrnerd – 2 Additions

  • Addition:
    • Darren Sproles
    • Danny Woodhead
  • Dropped:
    • Michael Floyd
    • Brian Quick

Hurricane Ditka – 1 Addition

  • Addition:
    • Stevie Johnson
  • Dropped:
    • Ryan Matthews

Grand Rapids Chodes – 1 Addition

  • Addition:
    • James Jones
  • Dropped:
    • Danny Woodhead

Jake from State Farm – 1 Addition

  • Addition:
    • Terrance Williams
  • Dropped:
    • Cody Latimer


I’m sure there will be more moves to follow, but these were the big moves made when the window opened up. We’ll keep this updated.