CMS BoxMuncher, Jake From State Farm, Uncategorized

Week 6 Game of the Week


Childhood Rivals

Obviously, a matchup between 5-0 Visbara and red-hot Andy should be match of the week, but with both having been involved in this column in recent weeks and the Mike vs. Brett matchup looming in week 7, I chose to pull a Monday Night Football and schedule the second best game for matchup of the week. This one should be no slouch though as two childhood rivals face off in their first ever fantasy football matchup. Jake from State Farm is rolling with dominating wins of Lopatin and Kanz in back to back weeks, and if you ask GM Jordan Kamphuis about CMS BoxMuncher (I still can’t believe that is an actual team name), you would think they are undefeated. In actuality, both teams are 2-3, but are tied for first in their division (sigh…).

Key Matchup: What more could you want in a matchup than the #1 overall pick and #1 WR Antonio Brown going against the #2 overall pick and #8 WR in Julio Jones. Pre-draft, GM Jacob Lee was debating between the two superstar receivers, if he had gone the other direction and chosen Jones, there would be an awkward moment for Kamp with his Julio jersey (maybe you’ve heard about it). If either of these receivers can explode for 35+ points which they are certainly capable of, that could go along way towards winning the very important matchup.

Jacob should worry if: Running back LeGarette Blount falls back into his typical slump when Tom Brady plays. In the 4 games that Brady was suspended for to start the season, Blount averaged 88 yards a game and had 4 touchdowns, and proved to be a viable asset for JFSF. But in past years, Blount’s performance has been dicey at best when Brady has been in the lineup due to their “run through the air” philosophy. In the 12 games Blount played in 2015 with Brady, only 2 of those weeks did he eclipse that 88 yards mark, and only scored in 4 of the 12 games. For Jake’s sake, he hopes Blount has turned over a new leaf in 2016.

Kamp should worry if: His running-backs are a no show in week 6. Eddie Lacy is hurt, and has only gotten over 10 fantasy points once this season. Terrance West has played well since taking over as the workhorse back in Baltimore, but many believe the rookie Kenneth Dixon is poised to take some of the work in the near future. And Ryan Matthews has performed well, but is in a time share with 3 other backs in Philadelphia, so who knows how much work he will get. This running back core will make or break CMS Boxmuncher’s week against Jake from State Farm.

Jacob will grin to a point of awkwardness if: The New Orleans defense continues to be historically awful. With stud Receiver Kelvin Benjamin going against the Saints this week, there is potential for a career game which would be so instrumental for GM Lee. New Orleans has given up an average of 18.7 points to an opposing wide receiver this season, and with Benjamin being the only receiver in town for Carolina, this is a perfect storm for another breakout game.

Kamp will grin to a point of awkwardness if: The game in Seattle between the Seahawks and the Hawks ( Kamp refuses to learn that Atlanta is actually the Falcons even though he has a jersey of theirs) turns out to be a shootout. With the star receiver for both teams on CMS Box Muncher, a shootout would be ideal for Kamp as it would create the potential for great games for both Julio Jones and Doug Baldwin.

The part where I predict exactly what the Projection says: Jake wins 153-141.


Week 5 Game of the Week


Undefeated No More

In a league where most of the teams are garbage and only 3 of the 12 teams are above .500 (Yes, Seriously), a Week 5 matchup of undefeated teams is a welcome surprise. I thought about making the Jacob vs. Kanz matchup the game of the week, but I think you could not watch all of Sunday, and still not miss many fantasy points in that one. Hurricane Ditka vs. Return of Simba is the best matchup of the season thus far. Both teams are similar in that they have won quite a few close games. Carston has lead his team to 3 victories in which his team was a very average 6th or 7th highest scoring team in the league (Also, #1 in week 2). Visbara has had his team skating by in a similar fashion including winning a game in week 1 where he was the 8th highest scoring team. But as a certain GM once told me “The only team that counts is the one i’m going against this week”, look for a great matchup between these two well coached teams in Week 5.

Key Matchup: It has got to be the tight ends. Jordan Reed finally broke out of his shell in Week 4, catching 2 touchdowns from Redskins QB Captain Kirk and adding 9 receptions for 73 yards, giving ROS a much needed 28.3 fantasy points and moving Reed into his rightful spot as the #2 TE in Fantasy. This week, Reed plays a stout Ravens defense where the game is almost positively going to end in a weird 18-10 score. The Ravens have only given up 5.2 FPPG to opposing Tight Ends, so it could be tough sledding for Reed and Visbara. Hurricane Ditka brings Kyle Rudolph to the battle (who just had twins on Tuesday night, congrats to him on the sex). Rudolph has been a pleasant surprise this season as he has become a favorite target of QB Sam Bradford. He is averaging 14.8 FPPG this season and has done it in consistent fashion. WIth Rudolph playing the Texans, who have been equally as stout against opposing Tight ends as the Ravens ( Both teams have only given up 5.2 FPPG to opposing Tight Ends), it could be tough sledding for both star tight ends. Whichever one can overcome the difficult matchup, should give their fantasy teams a big edge in the matchup.

Carston should worry if: David Johnson does not start out the week on Thursday night with a good performance. Ditka has been carried a bit by their superstar running back who is averaging just over 20 fantasy points per game. With a matchup against a depleted 49ers defense, and with no Carson Palmer playing for the Cardinals, if Johnson doesn’t get off to a hot start, it would be seen as a big disappointment.

Mike should worry if: The perceived best defenses in the league are legit for another week. With Mike having matchups against the Vikings, Broncos, Eagles and Texans, it would be bad news for Simba if these defenses continued their trend of being fantasy killers throughout the first quarter of the season. Hell, even Matt Prater is going against the Philadelphia special teams unit who have been the NFL’s 2nd best against opposing kickers.

Carston will grin to a point of awkwardness if: The Texans and Vikings end in a 0-0 tie. With Will Fuller and Stefon Diggs dueling it out in Minneapolis, and the Hurricanes having minimal stake in the matchup, it would be ideal if there was as little scoring as possible

Mike will grin to a point of awkwardness if: Carston’s experiment of Deandre Washington turns out to be a complete failure. With Latavius Murray expected to miss this game against the Chargers, Ditka is taking a shot by playing the Raiders primary backup without any real knowledge of if he can play. And with the league’s #6 RB Isaiah Crowell sitting on Carston’s bench, it is a bold play to say the least.

The part where I predict whatever the Projection says: Mike wins 155-146

Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Uncategorized

Week 4 Game of the Week


Battle of the Dokks

It’s a crucial game for both members of the matchup of the week as both teams are 1-2 and are certainly hoping that they do not need to climb back from a 1-3 hole to make the playoffs. It also just so happens that the matchup is between two brothers. Andy Vandokkumburg leads the Grand Rapids Chodes as they take on Ben Vandokkumburg who is the head man for the Everton Hawkeyes. Both are bringing in capable teams as the Hawkeyes and Chodes rank 4th and 6th in the league in total points scored, but both teams have found themselves in the 1-2 scenarios for far different reasons. Andy had the unfortunate scheduling of having to play Brett and Bs (combined record of 5-1) in weeks 1 and 2, while Ben, after putting up an astonishingly high 199 points in week 1, has seen his team falter the past 2 weeks with the 7th and 11th highest scores. It is crucial for the players on both squads to perform at the highest level, as both the Chodes and Hawkeyes are capable of putting up elite scores.

Key Matchup: Ben Roethlisburger vs. Trevor Simeon. Both “Rossburger” and Simeon have had an up and down season so far in 2016. For Simeon (who B. Dokk dropped the Brock Lobster for), he lead the league in QB points last week, but he is still Trevor Fucking Simeon, so who knows if that can continue against the Buccaneers in week 4, even though Tampa Bay’s defense has been playing like a pack of puppies as of late. Roethlisburger plays the Chiefs who picked off Ryan Fitzpatrick 6 times in last weeks “gun show”, Whichever QB can put together the better week could prove huge in deciding who wins this week.

Ben Should Worry If: The New Orleans defense continues their trend of giving up an average of 138 rushing yards per game to opposing running backs. Andy brings in recently traded for Melvin Gordon to this juicy matchup with the Saints, and seeing how Gordon received 87% of the snaps last week (his only week playing without Danny Woodhead), it could get ugly for the Saints defense and cause problems for the Everton Hawkeyes

Andy Should Worry If: Odell Beckham Jr turns his game around and gets back to his elite form. OBJ hasn’t been bad per say. But with only 15 fantasy points per game and no touchdowns in 2016 so far, it could get much better for B. Dokk and the hawkeyes.

Ben will grin to a point of awkwardness if: The listed worry above comes true, and OBJ still remains the third best receiver on Everton’s team. So far this season, Willie Snead and Larry Fitzgerald have been B. Dokks best receivers as they rank 19th (playing only 2 games) and 7th respectively. Fitzgerald has come a long way since he was the guy everyone hated having on their fantasy team. He now is 3rd amongst Wide Receivers in redzone targets and has hit pay dirt 3 times so far in the early parts of 2016. Snead is a breakout candidate after having games of 33.2 and 16.4 points the first two weeks. If they can continue their production, Ben’s receiving core will continue to be best in the Couches Elite League.
Andy will grin to a point of awkwardness if: Anquan Boldin continues to vulture touchdowns. After having TD’s each of the last two weeks (and having another come back because of penalty), the oldest, slowest receiver is becoming a viable fantasy option. With Andy giving Boldin the start in week 4, he will be a critical part in the Chodes success. Add in the fact that the Lions get to play a porous defense in Chicago, and there could be plenty of touchdowns to steal.

The part where I predict whatever the Projections say: Ben wins 153.9 – 145