Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Team Previews

Team Preview: Kyle


Ehrmagherd Dehrnerd (I don’t think I have ever spelled this the same way twice) probably thinks they should have won the league last year, as they always do. But after a playoff loss, ED is still looking for the ever elusive championship. In 2016, Kyle Novack will rely on the suspended players to bring him to glory. When asked about his team after the draft, Kyle said “I have the best team, and it helps that i’m playing against 11 bitches who know nothing about fantasy football” in a completely factual and entirely not made up answer.


QBs: A-


People want to look at Aaron Rodger’s season in 2015 and assume that he is on the decline. He did finish 12th amongst quarterbacks. That was without his star receiver, and with the most inept running game that the Packers have seen in quite some time. Even though he had a poor season, no one should expect that trend to continue. In the 7 seasons that Rodgers has played at least 15 games since 2008, last season is the only season where he was outside of the top 2 in Quarterback fantasy points. Don’t over think it. A lot of people think Dehrnerd’s other quarterback is poised for a breakout season. Marcus Mariota had an up and down season in his rookie year with Tennessee. He has the big play ability and should improve as many second year quarterbacks do, but that is not without question marks. Mariota is in a predominately running offense who would like to utilize the legs of DeMarco Murray and Derrick Henry over the arm of Mariota. Mariota has some running ability himself, which helps his fantasy value, but he is not injury-averse. He missed 4 games last year, and could miss more if they ask him to run more often in 2016.


RBs: B


If Le’Veon Bell did not have to face a 3 game suspension to start the year, Novack’s running back corp would be one of the best in the CE league. It helps, that he has DeAngelo Williams to fill in during those weeks, but at age 33, Williams’ production could drop off at any moment. C.J. Anderson did not live up to expectations in 2015, but showed moments of greatness. With Ronnie Hillman now out of the picture, and Trevor Simeon running the offense, Kyle should expect a heavy workload out of his #2 Running back.  


WRs: C-


When you spend a high draft pick on a quarterback, you need to make sacrifices elsewhere. ED did that with Wide Receiver depth. He does not have a receiver on his roster without question marks. His stud is Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, who had a very poor year in 2015, a lot due to injury. The big question marks when it comes to Bryant is how well he has recovered from his foot injury, and if he can play without Tony Romo, who will be out until mid-season. The silver-lining is that when Bryant played in 2015, he was still targeted 8.1 times a game. Jordan Matthews is playing in a bad Philadelphia offense with a rookie quarterback who hasn’t even played against Division 1 opponents, let alone NFL defenses. Steve Smith Sr. is 37 years old and coming off of a torn achilles. And Josh Gordon, the wild card of the league is suspended for the first 4 games and has only played in 5 regular season games since 2013. Kyle is hoping for the best with this group, but may have to rely on Terrelle Pryor and Ted Ginn Jr. and their ability to only run streaks if he is going to find top level production from this group.


TE: C+
Eric Ebron should gain more usage around the end zone with Calvin Johnson retired, but for the most part, he is simply one of the many guys in that second tier of Tight End. Add in an injury that has caused him to miss most of training camp, and Ebron should be considered a below average tight end with upside.

Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Return of Simba

Matcup Preview: Ermahgerd Dehrnerd (DROB) vs. Return of Simba (Viz) – Week 2

357_34563060996_494_n     Mike weird smile

This is the battle of the cousins in Week 2. Kyle is looking to continue his hot start after a dominating performance over Jake from State Farm in week 1, while Mike is still looking for revenge from when his older cousin picked off his pass in that infamous high school football game and prove once and for all, that he is the better of the Visbara clan cousins (Jay excluded for obvious reasons). Kyle is projected to win this one 142.5 to 140.0, but projections hardly show the entire picture. Let’s Start with Quarterback play:

QBs: You would think Kyle has the advantage here given that he used his 1st and 3rd round picks on Luck and Wilson in the draft, but after week one, the statistics show differently. The two pro-bowlers combined to score 32.8 points for the flying Dehrnerd’s, while mikes combination of Carson Palmer and Ryan Tannehill combined to put up 39.4 points here, all while having Tom Brady sit on the bench (A decision that could have been classified as bonehead play of the week if he didn’t win). Kyle’s quarterbacks did have tough matchups however and should bounce back nicely this week with slightly more favorable matchups. 

This could be considered a toss up, but because Brady has to deal with the Buffalo defense that Luck struggled with last week, the advantage still goes to Ermahgerd Dehrnerd.

RBs: Not even close, Simba has the advantage in this. Demarco Murray plays for Philly, and Mark Ingram can catch a billion passes in the New Orleans offense. Kyle on the other hand is starting a running back who couldn’t even make the couches roster (Deangelo Williams) and a hobbit from the LOTR (Sproles).

WRs: Have you heard that Kyle likes Julio Jones? I thought he was going to blow his load on Monday when Jones scored his first Touchdown, and I wouldn’t even blame him, dude is amazing. Combine that with Jordan Matthews who seems to be Sam Bradford’s favorite target, and you have a great receiving core. Mike’s group is hurting because of the injury to Dez Bryant, but solid nonetheless with PPR machine Jarvis Landry and big hitter possibility guy John Brown, but these two position groups are in different atmospheres. Advantage Kyle.

TE: Kyle will try and tell you that Tyler Eifert is the greatest thing since Jabrill Peppers, but his performance last week (32.4 pts) could be pretty flukey. Mike has Jimmy Graham who despite going against the Rams defense, was still able to put up a respectable 17.1 points. His performance should improve this week as he plays a Green Bay defense that can be considered shotty at times. Advantage: Return of Simba.

Flex Options: Mike has his choice between Sammy Watkins who couldn’t even muster up 0.1 points in the decimal system that everyone loves. Or Joique Bell, who Kyle seems to think is replaced by the next coming of Barry Sanders (If you haven’t noticed, he is a big fan of hyperbole) in Ameer Abdullah.

Kyle on the otherhand has possibly even worse choices:

  • Eddie Royal – 1.8 Pts last week
  • LeGarrette Blount – suspended last week and might have lost his spot to Dion Lewis
  • Duke Johnson – 2.2 pts and sits behind Isiah Crowell fer god’s sake
  • Brian Quick – Was a healthy scratch, meaning he could play, just wasn’t good enough to.

There isn’t a good choice with either team, It’s a wash.

Overall, I think the projections are close here and it should be a pretty even match. I’ll give an ever so slight edge to Kyle because I think Julio and Matthews will have a couple more massive games, a tough matchup for Brady allows Kyle to overcome an abysmal running back core and eek out a win.

Score 149.7 – 145.1

Mike and Kyle

Hopefully the battle this week doesn’t ruin the chance of any more precious moments between these two like this.