Power Rankings, Uncategorized

Week 5 Power Rankings

Beerio Kart

Fantasy football and Beerio Kart clearly are more similar than they are not. They are both what you would think just should friendly competitions but in reality are the greatest of competitions that truly measure the value, strength, and greatness of a man.
Just like in beerio kart though, there seems to be only 4 players playing in this league.

1. Demarco Depolo – Royal Raceway

The best race of them all compares greatly to Depolo. It requires skill, thought, and a little luck to be the best at. Depolo has all three going for it right now. The skill to pickup Stafford and luck, the thought of starting Jeremy frickin kerley, and the luck of getting demarco in like the 8th round. This race is always built around the final jump and drifting through the last couple turns. For Polo, that is the playoffs games they are just dying to play in. Anything short of a lightning bolt(lack of WR play) wont stop this team.
Depolo getting some heat for the top spot, but still continues to produce and keeps the top spot.
2. Return of Simba –  DK’s Jungle

The similar just a little less exciting DK Jungle takes the number 2 spot. DKs jungle also has a big jump, some key drifting, and a dark cave where the true champions make moves.
There is no real short cuts on this race, you just have to be a complete racer to do well here. Simba seems to be a complete team, clicking on all cylinders right now. Simba is excited to go into a first lap cave in week 7 and come out as top team in the league.

3. GR Chodes – Wario Stadium

Just like the chodes, Wario Stadium is long and big and dark. This race was underrated B in the D but now, just like the chodes, is considered a favorite. The key to this race is snagging that lightning bolt early and holding the power. The chodes seem to have done that with Matty Ice and Zeke. Unfortunately for the chodes, the team right behind them is the items bitch of all items bitches. Look out for a ghost or even a first place star.

4. Hurricane Ditka – Boswer’s Castle

Just like Boswer’s Castle, Hurricane Ditka is a handful if you aren’t ready for it. Its the last race in the best of all the circuits. Just like for Hurricane it was important to get off to a hot start here as coming back is almost impossible. There are a few places to trip up but it usually comes down to the best 2 races around the final loop. We know Ditka is confident. Just not sure what they are more confident in.
5. Jake From State Farm-  Koopas Beach

Koopas Beach is the kind of place where you can start slow but quickly get back in the race.
That is exactly was JRSF has done this year. In almost no time, the Farm has gone from a winless team to one win away from a first round bye. JFST got blessed with 3 mushrooms of A brown, derrick carr, and Kelvin Benjamin. They look to use them all and grab first place.

6. Justin Tucker – Kalahari Desert

You know what it is. Very easy comparison here. Its the type of race that doesn’t really matter how you start but how you finish. The key here is just not getting to far out of the lead for the last lap. JT got through the tough part of playing with Brady and Gronk and will now be looking to use his late star and lightning bolt to sneak in and grab a first bye per usual. Just need to watch and make sure they drink all their beer.

7. Everton Hawkeyes – Sherbet Land

Sherbet land plays the role of underrated just as the hawkeyes are right now. These teams are both defined as penguins defending there cave. For Everton, this is clearly a metaphor for the WRs needing to carry the team and protect the playoff berth. For sherbet land it is quite literally penguins sliding across the entrance of the cave to protect their fellow penguins who are very busy walking around continuously walking around ice posts. Big dumb stupid penguins.

8. GR Titty Skunks – Luigi Raceway

The first race of the game compares greatly to the new team on the block. It looks like a simple easy race, when in reality the best of strategies need to be used to be successful.
Luigi Raceway defines what kind of racer you are going to be. For the skunks right now they are looking like a resilient team that can bounce back from the worst of loses. They will be looking for their star in the tunnel to sneak in a grab first place. The skunks seem to have so much confidence they are willing to fire their green shells in the tunnel. Why? Because shooters shoot.

9. CMS Box Muncher – Yoshi Valley

What place are you in? Good team or bad team? Julio or Baby Julio? Confusing or Confucius? Yoshi valley and CMS box muncher both give more questions than answers at this point. We won’t really know til the end. But in the meantime, its a hell of a time and very fun to watch.
10. Emhagerd Dehnerd – Rainbow Road

ED went for the shortcut on the first lap and missed miserably. Luckily Denherd still has 2 more laps to get back in the race. But if Derherd cant stick the big jump like the teams owner can hammered, twice in a row, while on the phone, than they will be in for a long, boring, miserable year of constantly getting eaten by chomper and getting useless red shells in last place while no one is in reach.

11. DBT – Chaco Taco

Ah Chaco Taco. An old time favorite. Maybe because it is named after a great ice cream truck treat or maybe because it happens during an exhilarating boulder slide. Its a race you used to think was fun until you constantly lose over and over again until you literally can’t race anymore. But eventually you will get that win. Its almost impossible not too.
And after you get that huge inspirational win you realize, Chaco Taco still isnt really that good of a race.
12. The Dogs – Toads Turnpike

The worst of them all. Just not a fun race at all and even less fun if you suck at it. Getting behind here is deadly as it is almost to impossible to amount any kind of comeback.
The only chance for the Dogs is a flawless last two laps and everyone else racing to just constantly get ran over by cars over and over and over again. Too bad this league is not full of ameratuer. But for now, it looks like the dogs are the only ones getting run over.

Power Rankings, Uncategorized

Week 4 Power Rankings

NFL Counterparts.

So while we are all very in to fantasy football and the corresponding greatest 7 hours of commercial free coverage of Redzone on Sunday, there are actual NFL teams playing actual NFL games that matter almost as much as our weekly matchups. And in this crazy NFL they actually root for their whole team to due well and not just their QB to throw TDs(as long as he is not throwing to a specific receiver on the opposing fantasy team) and not INTs (unless its your Dfense and they return it for a touchdown). So heres to comparing NFL teams to actual teams that mean something.

  1. Demarco Depolo  – Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings and Depolo are both very well known for there crazy old days. One had two stud receivers who had huge personalities and fake mooned the crowd while the latter peed in public while walking, blacked out frequently, and actually mooned the crowd while doing a naked lap (and giving high fives). But now both the Vikings and Depolo are both sophisticated teams with stud running backs and a classy guy leading up the squad. Both continue to stay undefeated and looking the part the cement their place on top.  But man do we sometimes miss those Randy Moss days.

2. Return of Simba – Philadelphia Eaglets.

The Eaglets and Simba are really starting to grow up. Both are led by rookie qbs and young exiting WRs. Simba and the Eaglets are both teams we keep expecting to lose but just don’t. While the Eagles weren’t in the super bowl like last year,  one specific owner in our league believes they should have been. Simba and Philly will run into a little adversity when Romo comes back into play, but until then Simba looks like a top notch team.

3. Hurricane Ditka – Daaaaa Broncos

Why the Broncos? Because Hurricane is the last undefeated team and so are the Broncos. Not that hard to figure out. But why they are similar….. Because they both won it all last year.  Im just kidding…… I have no idea who won the super bowl last year (I pulled an old school Depolo at halftime for those that weren’t there). But I do know Hurricane did not get a sniff of it. But this year could be different. The Broncos are again looking like super bowl contender and Ditka has a complete team ready to compete for that beautiful trophy. And they both have Demarius Thomas.

4. Grand Rapids Chodes – Hotlanta Falcons

Just like the High Flying Falcons, the Small Chubby Chodes are putting up huge offensive numbers. Both these teams were somewhat disappointing last year even with big time players, but now both squads have seemed to turn it around. Only problem for the Chodes in no Julio, but Matt Ryan does have jordy and crabtree to throw too for the chodes. The falcons logo is a whole lot less disturbing to look at than the chodes though. Honestly just stare at it for 10 seconds, its super distrubing.

5. Justin Tucker – Dallas Cowboys

Now the patriots would have easy comparison, Brady, Gronk… JT does not have Belicick coaching it. No JT has more of a big ego, old school, difficult owner like Jerry Jones. But both Jerry and Justin have very good teams this year. Both teams have done well with there backup QBs and are certainly making their owners wonder if they need their starting QB back or if it will mess up the current team chemistry. Maybe both owners should consider trading their QBs. Just food for thought.

6. CMS Box Muncher – LA Rams

LA is basically an expansion team like CMS and some how both have got off the great starts even with terrible first games and horrid QB play. Its hard to keep discounting them as both seem to have some sort of destiny around them. Ok im tired of talking about the rams. Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo Julio Julio Juilo Juilo Juilo.      Ok thats better. 50 points. What a stud. CMS better give a huge shout out to these power rankings for calling out Julio last week and awakening the beast.

7. Jake From State Farm – Carolina Panthers

Now these were two teams that were actually in the finals last year. The Farm got to regain their star from last year and the Panthers got to bring back the leage MVP. Both were looking for similar years. But the Farm Panthers have gotten off to very uninspiring starts. It just seams like a matter of time until they wake up and return to last years form. But hopefully for JFSF they won’t have to do it without their star like the Panthers.

8. Emhagerd Dehnerd – Arizona Cardinals

Just like the Cardinals, ED was early Super Bowl Favorites after coming off disapointing playoff loses. But 1-3 starts have called for concern and questioning. The QBs are getting old have not been living up to what they need to be and the defense has been getting torched. But both have some wily verterans leading the WR core and great young RBs leading the team. It has to be just a matter of time until they turn it around. But if they don’t it will be a huge disappointment.

9. Everton Hawkeyes – Washington Redskins

Both Everton and the Skins took advantage of weak divisions last year to make the playoffs. This year has been a little tougher for each. Thats about all the similarities I got. They were the last playoff team to not look like a playoff team this year. The skins are doing it with a QB that can’t throw. The Hawkeyes are having huge disappointing weeks from the WRs that were studs to start. The hawkeyes are actually much more like the two teams they are named after. Unfortunately the Hawkeyes almost the same amount of losses as the Iowa brothern. But on a positive note they have one more win than the team they share a city with. And this is a valuable lesson in kicking someone while they are down.

10. Grand Rapids Skunk Titties – Detroit Skunk Titties

It pains me to write this one, but after the skunks first 2 loses how can you not see the comparison. The Titties owner is from a good sports town that makes the playoffs and actually wins championships. A lot of them. So it just seems right that by moving to Michigan, the Skunk Titties feel the pain all us Lions fans have felt for so long. Don’t worry Titties, you will become numb to it soon. Just give it time.

11. The Dogs – Tampa Bay Bucs

The Dogs, like the Bucs like to reminisce about there championship back in like 02. Ill give it to them, they were sick teams, Brooks, Sapp, Lynch, Barber, Keyshawn. But man we are a long time from that. Now both are bottom dwellers who can’t seem to bring back the good old days. They are also both led by very similiar outspoken QBs who give very inspirational speeches. Unfortunately Gruden is not coming back to save either of these teams. This is a sunken pirate ship.

12. Dumb Bald Turkeys – Cleveland

Easiest one of the day. Not even comparing them to just the Browns but the whole landfill of a city itself. Just a team that is very hard to look at. You almost start feeling bad for the place. Almost. They each have one championship built on a ton a disappointing and terrible seasons. Unlike the actual city though, Lebron James is not walking through the door to come save the Turkeys. These guys will be all gobbled up by Thanksgiving.



Power Rankings

Week 3 Power Rankings

Buy or Sell?

Through 3 weeks only 4 teams have winning records. These power rankings will sort the squads in to 4 groups and look at whether or not we are buying or selling at there current price.

Top Stocks

1. DeMarco DePolo – Price:$100

DePolos team is looking as good as the commercial the squad is named after. This team is built on a stable foundation with Demarco as the number 1 back in the league, and Todd Gurley finally breaking out of an early slump.   Add in 2 top 6 QBS in Luck and Stafford and you got your self a number 1 team. Also never go to sleep on oldie but goodie DeSean Jackson. High price but safe investment here.


2. Justin Tucker – Price $88

JTs price went down from last week due to the loss this week. But that loss was to the top dog. That loss also happened with Gronk in the starting lineup and only playing one play. That loss also happened with Tom Brady still suspended. Now is definitely the time to buy JT as there price may not get any lower.


3. Hurricane Ditka  Price $86

Hurricane prices continues to go up as the team continues to win. Backed by  David Johnson, Hurricane as pulled out 3 wins in the first 3 weeks. But there are some concerns to the investors. First off Marvin Jones in the #1 receiver right not. Can that continue? As a lion fan no I know for sure it can’t. Also both QBs are outside of the top 12. DT finallly had a bad game but we still aren’t buying Sieman. And Charles may never come back to #1 RB status. Price is just too high right now.



4. Return Of Simba Price $78

Simba is full of young talent that just will not lose. They have quietly got off to a 3-0 start. Freeman finally does his best 2015 Freeman impression to pull out a Simba. While the 3-0 start is great there are some question marks. Without Marshall, the wide receviers lack an true leader. The QBs are very questionable. If you are a gambler you would buy this team based on the young talent. But we are not.



Mid Stocks

5. Everton Hawkeyes Price: $56

Big Price drop for the 1-2s. Everton is top of the mid stocks with a lot of points scored. The price took a huge drop after a loss do a bottom feeder.  But the Hawkeyes learned a valuable lesson that they will not forget. DONT SIT CARLOS HYDE. The pride and joy of everton had to watch the hawkeyes lay an egg while being a healthy scratch. Almost seems like Everton was tanking on purpose. Maybe insider trading? Collusion?  Seriously it doesnt make sense? Why sit Hyde?


6. Emhergerd Dehnerd  Price: $54

Wildcat. Emhergerd was channeling its favorite player with some beautiful wildcat QB powers for TDs. Unfortunately for the squad, just like Dehnerd those exciting QB TDs usually came with Ls to any team with a pulse. With Rogers on a bye this week and Dez possibly hurt, Pryor will the Best QB and WR on the team. But now for good news. Laveon Bell is back which means we are definitely…….


7. The Chodes Price : $51

The Chodes finally got a much deserved win.  Jordy finally got back to being Jordy and the combo of Zeke and Gordon at RB gives a great young 1-2 punch. Add in a the number 2 QB who throws the the best wider receiver in the league in Ben Roth… I mean Matt Ryan and you have yourself a squad. Also a great TE in Kelece, the only benefactor in the game officially dubbed as the “Gun Show” but more on that later. Much like my Roth IRA, we dipped early but just as I guaranteed Carston, its nothing to worry about.


8. Skunk Titties Price :$49

Just like the Chodes, the skunk titties finally got a much deserved win. Unlike the chodes, the skunks had there head stuck in Coke can for the first two weeks. Thankfully for the skunks, Emmanuel Sanders pulled that dumb can right off the skunks and unleashed the titties. The skunks do have one of if not the best QB in netwon. Also some solid receivers in Decker, Jeffrey and Sanders. But the skunks relied on 32 points from chiefs D and have no good running backs. We are putting that coke can right back on the skunks.



Low Stocks

9. Jake From State Farm Price: $32

JFSF has an a unfortunate schedule to start the year. Every team they have played has been in the top 3 the week after beating the Farm. But the RBs have been improving with Blount and Ingram. Carr is a solid QB and if (i know a big if) Wilson can get back these QBs are very dangerous. Obviously can’t do a power ranking without talking about the boy Brown. With bell back, things should open for brown a little. This a a very easy decision for the investors.

10. CMSBox Muncher Price :$29

O Boy was the sunday game of the week offically dubbed “The Gun Show”  a huge disappointment. Fresh off the huge game shotgun jets QB was poised for another huge game. The turnaround QB Smith was looking to feast on a defense that Tyrod taylor just got done torching. And then the impossible happened. Smith accounted for 13.2 of the combined 10.2 stats. Yeah thats not a typo.(mgoblog gave me the idea for this so this is my mla cited reference). O and Steelers Dfence got -4 points as well. And lets just get it out there. Julio has not been producing like a guy you would buy a jersey of. But the investors believe in Julio. They believe in Doug and Mike. And of course they believe in the emergence of Fleendaddy. Looking to make a lot of money on this one.



Penny Stocks


11. The Dogs : $10

Say it aint so the Dogs won a dang game. And like the coach said if they win this week thats two in a row. And if they win next week then that is called….well lets not get crazy. But allen robision is starting to pick it up. Miller continues to be solid. Tanehill is putting up sneaky good numbers. I don’t know if its because I watched a Jamesis speech to help me get through this power rankings but dammit Im a believer now. We ACC but we gonna make SEC money with this investment.



12. Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys : $7

This team can call its self whatever it wants but it will always be remembered for the 2 year stretch from 2014 to 2015. Climbing the ladder all the way to the top and only to fall to the rock bottom the following year. 2015 was a year of controversy for the the Dumb Bald Turkeys, but they competed hard to start and took the loss like a true sportsman and with much respect from fellow league owners. This year is a different story though. No built in excuses for whatever this sorry bunch of players calls itself. I dont know if its due to moving away or the traumatic experience of the ACT (and yes I realize this team has a win over the writer of the power rankings), but this team is not the Dumb Bald Turkeys we all loved and remember. So we are definitely selling this stock until the ownership can turn this team around and start acting like the beautiful specimen the squad was initially named after. The league is a better place with a competitive turkey team.



Power Rankings

Week 2 Power Rankings

Over reactions?

Week 1 is over and provided a lot of reactions? Did week 2 show us they were the right reactions or overreactions?

1. DeMarco DePolo

Week 1 Reaction – Gurley may not be 1st round material.

Overreaction? No.

2 games in a row Gurley has struggled. With LA being so bad its hard to see it turn around.
On the bright side demarco murray has looked like a number 1 back again and Polo is sitting at 2-0 after beating the previous number 1 squad.

2. Justin Tucker

Week 1 Reaction – O shit bs may actually have a good team that doesn’t have to sneak into the playoffs

Overreactoin? Suprisingly no.

This is actually a solid team even without brady or gronk. Forte may be the steal of the draft. The WRs are very good. And tevin coleman is looking like a break star.

3. Everton Hawkeyes

Week 1 Reaction – Odell is the 4th best reciever on this team

Overreaction? Yes, but possibly maybe not? What?!?!?

Odell is a star but, snead cooper and fitz are all looking to but up huge numbers. This team is scary good if odell is even in the conversation as 4th best receiver. Also if coleman didnt get hurt the WR dept would be unreal on this squad. Still a lot to like elsewhere but the WR are going to cary this team.

4. Hurricane Ditka

Week 1 Reaction – The rookie WRs need to step up big for this team to have a chance

Overreaction? Probably a little bit but not really

Still a solid squad withouth shepard and sharpe. DJ is looking like the star we thought he would be. DT and Marvin had decent week 2s. But shepard and sharpe fully breaking out would but this team on another level.

5. Ermahgerd Dehnrerd

Week 1 Reaction – This team will be even better with Bell and Gordon

Overrreaction? Yes

Bell is great, but deangelo is the number 1 RB through 2 weeks. Gordon is also great but has not played football in two years and has a Browns QB throwing the ball.
The real key to the squad is cjs continued greatness and Dez turning the corner. O and more than 4 combined points from kicker and defense.

6. Return of Simba

Week 1 Reaction – Freeman will soon get back to last years form

Overreacction? Yes

Freeman is now splitting carries with coleman. It will be very hard for him to come close to last years performance.  The GM did make a nice trade picking up some depth and potential at the WR position with hilton and fuller. Also bradford starting might be the best thing that happend for this team as diggs saved last weeks game.

7. Jake from state farm

Week 1 Reaction – This team will struggle with no RBs

Overreation? No.

Blount did have a nice game but still cannot be counted on. Ingram is not producing at the rate he was last year. Fourtunetly for the farm Benjamin looks like a star and the TEs are actaully good.

8. Grand Rapids Chodes

Week 1 Reaction – Solid team with no stars

Overreaction? No

Chodes just traded away there best chance at a star in fuller. But they did get good value picking up Gordon who is no longer handcuffed by Woodhead. With such a solid squad the consistent wins should not be too far away.

9. Grand Rapids Skunk Titties

Week 1 Reaction – Week 1 was the worst loss this team will have. That won’t happen again.

Overreaction? O you better believe it. This team is going to lose every game in heartbreak fashion

Welcome to fantasy football. Your team is cursed.
10. CMSBox Muncher

Week 1 Reaction – QBs are a major problem for this team

Overreaction? Yes

The muncher gm found 2 gems in shotgun jets QB and that patriots backup. The WRs are good enough to turn around CMS’s early scoring issues but the runny backs are scary.

11. Steven Glansburg Squad

Week 1 Reaction – This team will not take the ACT again

Overreaction? No. Only because the team next up

Yes SGS got the win over a rival but at what cost. Down goes doug. Gates is questionable and rawls does not look like a start worthy back. Outside of page 1 palmer and hopkanz there is not much to like here.

12. The Dogs

Week 1 Reaction – This team sucks

Overreaction? Definetly Not

Cobb – Sucks

Tate Sucks

Duke – Sucks

Allen – Sucks

Gioviani – Good???? O but on the bench

Power Rankings


The Party has Started

1. Everton Hawkeyes (1-0)

Huge week 1 for the Hawkeyes led by the best pick in the draft Carlos Hyde. Just pure brilliance behind that pick, I truly wonder what was going through the GMs head at that point. Beyond the headliner, this team is very deep at the WR position. Probably the 3rd best receiver in the league was the 4th best for Everton in week 1. The ageless Fitz continues to impress. Add him to the young star Cooper and a breakout candidate in Snead, and you have a fully loaded WR corp. Eli mixed with a returning Romo makes a very formidable QB duo. Round out the squad with fan favorite Mcmanus and you have the top week 1 team.

2. Emhagerd Denhred (1-0)

Life after Julio started off with a bang for DROB. With the emergence of CJ and two great options with whoever is running the ball for Pitt, Denherd has top notch running backs. Add in a possible breakout year with Ameer, this squad should be set at RB. QB also gives this team a lot to be excited about. Rogers is always a stud and Mariota gives a big boom or average type player. WR is the one spot to be concerned with. But with Mattews looking to have a big year with Wentz, Romo coming back for Dez, and Josh gordon not having to rely on RG3, WR has a very high ceiling.

3.   DeMarco Depolo (1-0)

Polo was led by 2 QBS looking to have huge bounce back years. Luckily Luck looked like old Luck and Stafford was super efficient without Calvin. Marco has some sneaky good WRs with Cooks and Watkins and a top 3 TE in Olsen. Murray looks to have fallen too far in the draft, but Gurleys performance was not #1 RB like. The fear that the Rams are terrible and teams will do everything to stop Gurley is real, but Gurley is too good to be held down for long.

4. Justin Tucker (1-0)

Just like the Patriots, JT was able to come out with a huge win without Brady and Gronk. Super impressive for a team just looking to survive without Brady. One of the few teams whos #1 performed, AJ gave Tuck a huge boost. Add him with Edelman and Landry and you have a top notch 3 WR set. Super old running backs Forte and Gore are still kicking it and putting up points. Their health is the key to this team. Brees knees offense looks very impressive and should continue to put up big numbers. Torrey Smith on the other hand is not good.

5. Jake From State Farm (0-1)

JFSF is the best of the losing teams. Brown showed his dominance is going to continue and the number 1 overall was very justified.  Carr and Wilson give the farm some solid QBs in the barn. Benjamin is the States pick for breakout of the year. The RBs are still a concern, but Jake looks to be beefing it up through the waiver wire, I mean trading TEs. Speaking of TEs, the task of picking the right one will continue to be a mental hurdle for this team.

6. Grand Rapids Chodes (0-1)

GRC had a very respectable week 1, unfortunately they ran into a very small kicker. The Chodes are one of the more well rounded teams with no clear holes but also no superstars. Big Ben is going to lead a super offense and Matt Ryan will be great as long as he keeps throwing to Julio. Elliot showed good signs, but is not yet living up to the round 1 pick. Nelson and Hilton are looking to get back to #1 form, if they do the Chodes could be in for a big year. Fuller is a player the Rapids have to be excited about.

7. Hurricane Ditka (1-0)

Ditka probably gives 0 shits where they are on this list as they are just happy to pull out an gut wrenching win over the skunks. It could go down as a season defining win. Hurricane got it done with the help of probably the most exciting RB to watch David Johnson. He will need to be the catalyst as Charles does not look to be giving a great ROI on the 2nd round pick. Rivers and Dalton give HD a underrated QB duo. The WR is not as strong as other teams at this point, but that could change as Sterling and Sharpe continue to develop.

8. Return of Simba (1-0)

Simba was led by one of the great lions week 1, Theo Riddick. Riddick is looking to have a big year in the new lions offense. A couple more underrated players, Diggs and Maclin, helped RoS get a big week 1 win. Freeman and Marshall should bounce back from sub par weeks but the QB position is a little more concerning. Reed at TE will give Simba a calming presence all year long. This squad is also 1-1 in picking great defenses.

9. Grand Rapids Skunk Tittes (0-1)

The Skunks got a huge Titty twister in week 1. There is still a lot to like on this team though. Cam put a great numbers on the best defense in the league. Spencer Ware can take over the Cheifs job. Danny Woodhead will have an increased role with Keenan. Decker, Jeffery, and Sanders give the Tits a good not great triplet of WRs. #1 Pick AP needs to bounce back from the horrid week 1 for the Skunks to do anything moving forward though. GRST will need to keep out a better eye on defensive matchups going forward.

10. CMS Box Muncher (0-1)

Not an ideal start for the Push Kids of Bikes crew, but not too concerning either. -4 from a defense will never help. Julio was kept to a very modest 16 points but Mike Evans and Doug Baldwin looked like they will have big years. Lacy Hill and Matthews give decent starting RBs that will always get touches. The fact of constantly having the best kicker has to be great feeling for the Sandwich Eaters. The loss of RG3 could possibly be an addition by subtraction for CMS

11. Steven Glansburg Squad (0-1)

This team is….average. But average is better than worst. And worst equals ACT. And ACT equals… well we will let Stevie boy tell you for himself. John brown was held down to nothing. Very surprising and hopefully not a sign of things to come. Doug, Yeldon, and Ralws provide a solid set of horses in the RB position. QBs are pretty simple Palmer page 1 and Bortles page 2. Too early to throw in the towel, this team is just not that super bad. Also that Deandre Hopkanz guy is pretty good too.

12. The Dogs (0-1)

Nothing short of a super inspiring Jameis Winston speech is gonna save this litter of adorable puppies. Speaking of Jameis, he is the only one that showed up to play week 1 for the Dogs. Miller did his normal Miller things but could not find the end zone. Robinson could not make any Michigan Tatoo esque catches against the Packers. I am tired about writing about this team. Here is the GMs summary of his team:

Giovanni – Sucks

Cobb – Sucks

Lockett – Sucks

Clay – Sucks

Jennings – Sucks