CMS BoxMuncher, Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Playoffs, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack, The Dogs, Uncategorized

Playoff Watch: Week 10

Changes this week:

  • Carston and Visbara switched spots in the #4 and #5 spots.
  • Kanz has been officially eliminated from the playoffs.
  • Brett has clinched a playoff spot
  • Jay and Lopatin are still in it, but cannot afford another loss, and need lots of help.

**This is a Vin Scully approved bracket, nothing on this list is speculative. This is purely factual and is in no way predicting the end of season results (Because I just don’t understand why anyone would do that).

playoff-bracket-4

CMS BoxMuncher, Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Playoffs, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Uncategorized

Playoff Watch: Week 9

Changes this week:

  • Kamp and B. Dokk exchanged spots yet again.
  • A. Dokk jumped into the #3 spot and overtook the most points in the league.
  • The ever-changing first round bye in the ACT Bracket welcomed a new member, Lopatin’s injuries are starting to catch up to him.

**This is a Vin Scully approved bracket, nothing on this list is speculative. This is purely factual and is in no way predicting the end of season results (Because I just don’t understand why anyone would do that).

playoff-bracket-3

CMS BoxMuncher, Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Playoffs, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack, The Dogs

Playoff Watch: Week 8

Changes this week:

  • Visbara to the #3 Seed, Andy to the #4 Seed, Carston drops to #5.
  • Kamp and Ben switch playoff positions once again, this time, with the Hawkeyes entering the playoff picture.
  • Jacob falls to first round bye status in the ACT bowl with his recent slide, and wins by the Novacks.

**This is a Vin Scully approved bracket, nothing on this list is speculative. This is purely factual and is in no way predicting the end of season results (Because I just don’t understand why anyone would do that).

playoff-bracket-2

CMS BoxMuncher, Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Playoffs, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack, The Dogs

Playoff Watch: Week 7

Some minor changes took place after this week’s games.

  • Ben dropped all the way from first round bye to out of the playoffs after his porous performance in week 7. He hopes to rebound in Week 8 against current #3 seed Hurricane Ditka.
  • B’s jumps into first round bye territory as the leader in his division. Justin Tucker also took over as the league’s overall leading scorer.
  • CMS Boxmuncher entered the playoff picture with a big win over Kanz, with back to back wins, he hopes to continue this streak against Visbara next week.
  • Kanz and Jay switched spots in the ACT playoffs with Kanz falling to the #12 seed and earning himself a first round bye in a quest to improve on his ACT score from last season.

**This is a Vin Scully approved bracket, nothing on this list is speculative. This is purely factual and is in no way predicting the end of season results (Because I just don’t understand why anyone would do that).

playoff-bracket-1

CMS BoxMuncher, Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Playoffs, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack, The Dogs

Playoff Watch

It is about that time of the year, we are half way through the season, and it is time to start thinking about playoffs! Seeing as how everyone will be involved in some sort of playoffs, it is important to see how your team is doing in comparison to everyone else in the league. The playoff bracket as it currently stands is as follows.

**This is a Vin Scully approved bracket, nothing on this list is speculative. This is purely factual and is in no way predicting the end of season results (Because I just don’t understand why anyone would do that).

playoff-bracket

CMS BoxMuncher, Grand Rapids Chodes, Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Hurricane Ditka, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack, Waivers

Waiver Wire Roundup

 

This week was a big week on the waiver wire due to injuries to key players across the league. Add in the fact that there has been very little tight end production, and almost every team needed some help on the back end of their rosters. That is of course excluding Jay who’s team is so bad that he didn’t need any help. I am starting to think he is losing on purpose so he can show how smart he is on the ACT.

Quarterbacks: The first move was Kamp making the smart move of dropping the injured Jimmy Garoppolo for Ravens QB Joe Flacco. The only other QB transaction this week was Kamp proceeding to drop Flacco for Alex Smith. What a wild card that GM is.

Runningbacks: This was a disaster week for starting running backs throughout the league. Prominent backs like Adrian Peterson, Jonathan Stewart, Doug Martin and of course Danny Woodhead were hurt and are all expected to miss quite some time. Andy proceeded to take the first running back off the board with the now backup in Carolina with Fozzy Whitaker. With only Kenyan Drake, Matt Asiata and Dwayne Washington coming off of the board, many teams are going to need to find other alternatives to their running back problems.

Wide Receivers: Carston snagged Cole Beasley, and then dropped Beasley, who then was picked up by Bs who dropped Nelson Agholor (Christinia Aguilera) after he had picked Agholor up about 16 hours earlier. That is where we are in the league right now gentlemen. In other news, Kanz traded slot guys, picking up Jamison Crowder and dropping Eli Rogers.

Tight End: A lot of moves took place in the Tight End department during week 3. Kanz and Lopatin snagged the top options for the week by nabbing Falcons Tight End Jacob Tamme and the resurgent No-hippa Pitta. Carston took the third option in Steeler Outlaw Jesse James, and Visbara gave up on the Jimmy Graham project, if any one was interested in a guy with no knees.

Grand Rapids Skunk Titties, Team Previews

Team Preview:Lopatin

lopatin-only-pic

lopatin-team

Mike Lopatin is a newcomer to the league. The Boston Native will be competing in his first year in the Couches league as the general manager of one of the two expansion teams: the Grand Rapids Skunk Titties. When asked about the opportunity, Lopatin eloquently responded with “Huyahhhhh”… safe to say that he feels confident in his team’s ability. The skunk spirit is contagious. When asked what it’s like to have a new Couches Elite team in town, a young fan couldn’t contain his enthusiasm. “I just want to see hu–, what this team can huy–, bring to the table and see if they can bring home a league champi– HUYAHHHHHHH”.

 

QBs: A-

 

Lopatin brings two Quarterbacks who had career years in 2015. Cam Newton had a dream season with the Carolina Panthers as he lead them to 15-1 and a Super Bowl loss to the Denver Broncos. He helped fantasy owners in a similar fashion. He was the number one quarterback in Fantasy football last year, and by healthy margin. The difference between Newton and the next closest quarterback (Tom Brady), was almost equal to the difference between #2 and #7. Newton also had the same amount of games with more than 30 Fantasy Points as games with less than 20. Even if you account for a small regression of his production, he is still one of the best QB’s in the league. The Skunks’ second quarterback had quite the year himself. Kirk Cousins became famous for his famous “You like that?!” rant, but he should have gotten a name for himself because of his production. In his last 8 games, he had weeks of 37, 34, 31, 24, 23, and 19 fantasy points. The only question is if that production can continue, or if the short sample size proves to be more of a fluke. It is highly likely that this duo is in the upper echelon of quarterbacks during the 2016 Couches Season.

 

RBs: B+

 

Adrian Peterson has been the best running back in the league for the majority of a decade. At age 31, he will have to show one of his best seasons if he has a chance to provide the productivity that his fantasy owners expect of him. Since Teddy Bridgewater is out for the season with a torn ACL, Peterson will have to run against many stacked boxes. He will have success, but I expect his age and bad offense will contribute to a relative down year, but still end up a top 10 running back. Jeremy Langford and Danny Woodhead will be the other running backs that are heavily relied on for the Marsupial Breasts. Both had high levels of production, largely due to being the only guys in town. For Langford, he had his best games when Matt Forte was injured and Langford was the feature back. In those 3 games, Langford averaged 25.5 FPPG. Woodhead benefited from Injury as well. Due to season ending injuries to Wide Receivers Keenan Allen and Malcom Floyd, as well as major injuries on the OL that contributed to an inept running game, Woodhead was forced into a featured role that he had never experienced prior to the year. Because of concerns about Langford’s efficiency and the rise of the rest of the Chargers offense, there are concerns that the two running backs may not live up to their Average Draft Position (ADP). Both will have value, and paired with Peterson, lead a formidable trio. Add in fill in work with Spencer Ware and Charles Sims who are two backups with stand-alone value, and Lopatin finds himself with a very solid corp of running backs.

 

WRs: C+

 

The health of star receiver Alshon Jeffery will be the key to the Skunks’ receivers’ success. When he is on the field and healthy, Jeffery is one of the best pass catchers in the NFL. But after missing time in 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2012 with hamstring issues, there are questions if he can remain healthy for a full 16 game slate. If he cannot, the load might shift over to Jets receiver Eric Decker, who was able to reel in a touchdown in 12 of 16 games last year, and Broncos star, Emmanuel Sanders. Sanders had a down year last year largely due to lessened Quarterback play in Denver. With Trevor Simeon taking command this year, that does not expect to improve. Tavon Austin could be able to help Lopatin’s team if he is able to properly predict what games he will breakout. Austin had games of 29, 25, 22, and 21 points last year, but also had games of 1,4,4,5,5,8, and 8. The Skunks should not expect much help to come from Terrance Williams until Tony Romo returns from injury in Dallas.

 

TE: B-
The Boston native needed to get one Patriot on his team, and this year, it is newcomer Martellus Bennett. If New England choses to use Bennett in the Aaron Hernandez role, he will be a steal as a late round draft pick. Hopefully Bennett doesn’t follow the same off-the-field path as Hernandez who murdered several people. Add in 2015 breakout star Gary Barnidge who hopes to sync with the human broken bone RGIII and continue on his success from last year, and Lopatin has the potential for an elite group at TE. It is more likely that he simply receives solid production  from one of his Tight Ends on a weekly basis.