Week 5 Wrap Up: Behind the Numbers

As week 5 concludes, the league still has yet to take much shape. Below are the Couches Elite Official Stats to date by team. Follow along as I make some scientific as fuck conclusions.

Point Breakdown by Week & Team


Records if Everybody Played Everybody Each Week


Now that we’re five weeks in, we’re starting to see who the good teams are, teams who have had fluky weeks, and the teams that desperately need to do something or else they may die.

  1. The Dogs are struggling


Above: Fantasy Owner Justin Novack stuck in a swing after drinking heavily while watching his team this season.

The Puppies have really struggled to muster up much fight so far this season. If they played everybody every week, they’d have three wins. And fucking 52 losses. If this team wasn’t the puppies I’d think our whole league beating up his team. But Puppies are great and hopefully his team can grow into dogs soon otherwise they may have a standardized test at obedience school in the near future.

2. DePolo’s are good


Pictured: Owner Brett Reardon’s professional headshot. Source: LinkedIn

His team would be 42-13. Averaging 2 points better per week, but adjusted average of 9 points higher than second place. This dynasty is in good shape for the future.

3. Simba has Returned


Above: Owner Mike “Viz” Visbara flexing on some hoes.

Simba. 5-0. He’s a grown-ass lion. Detroit could use him. With a big win in the spotlight this week, Simba has another marquee match-up against the Red-Hot Chodes. The Chodes and Justin Tucker are the only two teams who would have winning records against Simba.

We’ll see if the league can take a little more shape this week with some crucial match ups ahead. Good luck this week (except for Kyle).



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s