Buy or Sell?
Through 3 weeks only 4 teams have winning records. These power rankings will sort the squads in to 4 groups and look at whether or not we are buying or selling at there current price.
1. DeMarco DePolo – Price:$100
DePolos team is looking as good as the commercial the squad is named after. This team is built on a stable foundation with Demarco as the number 1 back in the league, and Todd Gurley finally breaking out of an early slump. Add in 2 top 6 QBS in Luck and Stafford and you got your self a number 1 team. Also never go to sleep on oldie but goodie DeSean Jackson. High price but safe investment here.
2. Justin Tucker – Price $88
JTs price went down from last week due to the loss this week. But that loss was to the top dog. That loss also happened with Gronk in the starting lineup and only playing one play. That loss also happened with Tom Brady still suspended. Now is definitely the time to buy JT as there price may not get any lower.
3. Hurricane Ditka Price $86
Hurricane prices continues to go up as the team continues to win. Backed by David Johnson, Hurricane as pulled out 3 wins in the first 3 weeks. But there are some concerns to the investors. First off Marvin Jones in the #1 receiver right not. Can that continue? As a lion fan no I know for sure it can’t. Also both QBs are outside of the top 12. DT finallly had a bad game but we still aren’t buying Sieman. And Charles may never come back to #1 RB status. Price is just too high right now.
4. Return Of Simba Price $78
Simba is full of young talent that just will not lose. They have quietly got off to a 3-0 start. Freeman finally does his best 2015 Freeman impression to pull out a Simba. While the 3-0 start is great there are some question marks. Without Marshall, the wide receviers lack an true leader. The QBs are very questionable. If you are a gambler you would buy this team based on the young talent. But we are not.
5. Everton Hawkeyes Price: $56
Big Price drop for the 1-2s. Everton is top of the mid stocks with a lot of points scored. The price took a huge drop after a loss do a bottom feeder. But the Hawkeyes learned a valuable lesson that they will not forget. DONT SIT CARLOS HYDE. The pride and joy of everton had to watch the hawkeyes lay an egg while being a healthy scratch. Almost seems like Everton was tanking on purpose. Maybe insider trading? Collusion? Seriously it doesnt make sense? Why sit Hyde?
6. Emhergerd Dehnerd Price: $54
Wildcat. Emhergerd was channeling its favorite player with some beautiful wildcat QB powers for TDs. Unfortunately for the squad, just like Dehnerd those exciting QB TDs usually came with Ls to any team with a pulse. With Rogers on a bye this week and Dez possibly hurt, Pryor will the Best QB and WR on the team. But now for good news. Laveon Bell is back which means we are definitely…….
7. The Chodes Price : $51
The Chodes finally got a much deserved win. Jordy finally got back to being Jordy and the combo of Zeke and Gordon at RB gives a great young 1-2 punch. Add in a the number 2 QB who throws the the best wider receiver in the league in Ben Roth… I mean Matt Ryan and you have yourself a squad. Also a great TE in Kelece, the only benefactor in the game officially dubbed as the “Gun Show” but more on that later. Much like my Roth IRA, we dipped early but just as I guaranteed Carston, its nothing to worry about.
8. Skunk Titties Price :$49
Just like the Chodes, the skunk titties finally got a much deserved win. Unlike the chodes, the skunks had there head stuck in Coke can for the first two weeks. Thankfully for the skunks, Emmanuel Sanders pulled that dumb can right off the skunks and unleashed the titties. The skunks do have one of if not the best QB in netwon. Also some solid receivers in Decker, Jeffrey and Sanders. But the skunks relied on 32 points from chiefs D and have no good running backs. We are putting that coke can right back on the skunks.
9. Jake From State Farm Price: $32
JFSF has an a unfortunate schedule to start the year. Every team they have played has been in the top 3 the week after beating the Farm. But the RBs have been improving with Blount and Ingram. Carr is a solid QB and if (i know a big if) Wilson can get back these QBs are very dangerous. Obviously can’t do a power ranking without talking about the boy Brown. With bell back, things should open for brown a little. This a a very easy decision for the investors.
10. CMSBox Muncher Price :$29
O Boy was the sunday game of the week offically dubbed “The Gun Show” a huge disappointment. Fresh off the huge game shotgun jets QB was poised for another huge game. The turnaround QB Smith was looking to feast on a defense that Tyrod taylor just got done torching. And then the impossible happened. Smith accounted for 13.2 of the combined 10.2 stats. Yeah thats not a typo.(mgoblog gave me the idea for this so this is my mla cited reference). O and Steelers Dfence got -4 points as well. And lets just get it out there. Julio has not been producing like a guy you would buy a jersey of. But the investors believe in Julio. They believe in Doug and Mike. And of course they believe in the emergence of Fleendaddy. Looking to make a lot of money on this one.
11. The Dogs : $10
Say it aint so the Dogs won a dang game. And like the coach said if they win this week thats two in a row. And if they win next week then that is called….well lets not get crazy. But allen robision is starting to pick it up. Miller continues to be solid. Tanehill is putting up sneaky good numbers. I don’t know if its because I watched a Jamesis speech to help me get through this power rankings but dammit Im a believer now. We ACC but we gonna make SEC money with this investment.
12. Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys : $7
This team can call its self whatever it wants but it will always be remembered for the 2 year stretch from 2014 to 2015. Climbing the ladder all the way to the top and only to fall to the rock bottom the following year. 2015 was a year of controversy for the the Dumb Bald Turkeys, but they competed hard to start and took the loss like a true sportsman and with much respect from fellow league owners. This year is a different story though. No built in excuses for whatever this sorry bunch of players calls itself. I dont know if its due to moving away or the traumatic experience of the ACT (and yes I realize this team has a win over the writer of the power rankings), but this team is not the Dumb Bald Turkeys we all loved and remember. So we are definitely selling this stock until the ownership can turn this team around and start acting like the beautiful specimen the squad was initially named after. The league is a better place with a competitive turkey team.