Do the Sanky Leg, Ermahgerd Dehrnerd, Everton Hawkeyes, Grand Rapids Chodes, Hurricane Ditka, Jake From State Farm, Kooper's Klux Klan, Return of Simba, Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys, Team Novack

Week 1 Wrap Up

We’re all excited that fantasy football is back. But I think we’re all more excited that fanstasy football is back. Week 1 provided more questions than answers for some owners, while others are confident that they are going to repeat as champions. In an interview I conducted with the Fighting Derhnerd’s owner Kyle Novack, he said “I’m excited for Couches Elite to be back. My goal for this year is to make the playoffs. Winning would be great, but I think making the playoffs would be a great step in the right direction for my program. Hello, Julio.”

Attached is the week 1 stats.Couches Elite Official Stats

Let’s take a look at the highs and lows of week 1.

Team of the Week: Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys (RDBT)

With the return of the fantasy football season came the Return of the Dumb Bald Turkeys picking up right where they left off last year. Kanz’ roster was lead by kicker Brandon McManus with 54 points followed by Keenan Allen with 32.6 points even though he had 54 catches on the day. We’ll see if he can keep his momentum going in a week 2 match up against newcomer Jake from State Farm (JL).

Biggest Disappointment of the Week: Do the Sanky Leg (REAR)

At first glance, I liked the Sanky Legs as the strongest team in the league. I expected them to be in the running for the high score of the week this week, but with some disappointing performances, they drop to 0-1 (0-1) on the year against a nearly equally bad performance from the Everton Hawkeyes.

Game of the Week: Koopers Klux Klan (156.5) Def. Grand Rapids Chodes (155.4)

This one was thought to be over going into the late Monday Night Football game with a poor performance from rookie Christina Aguilera only putting up 1.5 points. Then came Carlos Hyde. The back who many thought would flop in a sub-par offense turned out to put up numbers more like Adrian Peterson than Adrian Peterson did. All Minnesota needed to do was get a first down and Grand Rapids would be 1-0 on the year, but they couldn’t convert and Hyde did his thing. Sucks to be a Chode.

Player of the Week: Carlos Hyde (KKK)

As noted above, Hyde looked great. The reason he inched out POTW is because his efforts helped the KKK knock off the Chodes. 168 yards and 2 touchdowns and a classic Ohio State spin move will be how he is remembered in his Week 1 performance. It sucks to be a Chode.

Worst Player(s) of the Week: Greg Olsen (REAR), Joe Flacco (NOVA), Nelson Agholor (KKK), Peyton Manning (REAR), Calvin Johnson (KKK), Brandon McManus (RDBT).

Greg Olsen is my surprise worst player of the week here. I expected big things from him with with Kelvin Benjamin being out for the year. We’ll see if Cam can get him the ball in week 2 and beyond.

Brandon McManus made the list because RDBT is going to rely on him too much this season to carry his team to the promise land. He doesn’t have what it takes. That’s Hauschka’s job.

Injuries: Dez Bryant (VIZ), T.Y. Hilton (EVTN), DeSean Jackson (EVTN), Andre Ellington (DROB), Matt Stafford (KKK), CJ Anderson (8=D~)


5 thoughts on “Week 1 Wrap Up

  1. that was such bull shit! literally the last play of the game to give SF the first down to run out the clock put B’s over for the W. If i end up having to take the ACT because of this loss i will lose it.


  2. I’m assuming by putting Hyde in as player of the week you are just ignoring Julio because we will be the player of the week every week.


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