ACTt Watch: Final Update

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Day 2 PCB #springbreakbreak2k15 #camplife

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(This isn’t my phone background, it’s YOUR phone background).

I’d like to start by saying thanks for bringing me in this year. I hope I added value to the league with the trades I made, the ACTt Watch posts, and other stuff. If none of those things moved the needle for any of you, at least I shined a light on the league’s burgeoning young star, Patrick Mahomes   Mitchell Trubisky. But on the real, the guy has some legitimate next level stats that show he’s more than just a “check-down Charlie.” For example, did you guys know that Trubisky is the only quarterback to lead the 2018 Chicago Bears to an 11-4 start? None of Tom Brady, Drew Brees, or Peyton Manning have done that. Really crazy when you think about it.

But this isn’t why we’re here today. Today we’re here to recap the ACTt Watch. After a tumultuous season, with many highs and lows for most of us, there was one thing that was consistent: Jay taking the ACTt. But showing some serious mettle, he made some great plays to keep him off the line and put it on one of Kordan, Vis, or myself. Even though he sat Derrick Henry during a 50-plus-point outing.

Then it went down to the Terra Verde Kissin TDs and the Fightin’ Kordan Jamphius’s. Kordan dispatched me in short order and had me feeling like:

Image result for bugs bunny yipes

So it came down to last week, Simba vs. Kissin TDs. Good vs. Evil. United States vs. Russia. Bob Novack vs. the Field. Michigan v. Ohio State. Bugs Bunny vs. Yosemite Sam:

Image result for bugs bunny and yosemite sam

Hell, even I was rooting against myself. I was very pro taking the ACTt with Kanz, us meeting for the first time, and seeing how poorly I would have done. Plus, Viz is such a good dude. Where I am this.

But alas, I was able to hang on for dear life and our good ol’ boy Viz is taking the ACTt, ideally with Kanz, sometime soon.

It’s been a great year and ACTt Watch thanks you for tuning in. Next year, when classes are a joke, I will be able to post weekly and I hope you continue to tune in. Or don’t. I don’t care. I love you all, especially Jacob.


ACTt Watch: Week 15

Image result for mitch trubisky

(If this doesn’t make “it” move, you have to start asking yourself some questions about your sexuality (sarcasm – have to explain for some people). This sex hair is on F-L-E-E-K.)

DISCLAIMER: I am on margherita #5 at the airport, #7 on the day, drink #9 since noon.

Hello dear friends, compatriots, readers, esteemed colleagues, fantasy football mavens, and Ben. It’s been awhile. I’m really upset at myself for not keeping up with this. Especially since I just completely cucked myself on my finals, so keeping up with this would not have made a difference in my grades any way.

Have you guys ever read that book “Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs”? The basic premise is that people who live in the town of Chewandswallow receive their food by the meteorological patterns each day. Everything is fine until one day, the food that rains down upon them is too large for them to handle and chaos and devastation ensues. This is the Chicago Bears. We live in the town of Chewandswallow where we are fed an elite defense and a good running game. This is “Bear” football. Founding franchise football. Yet inevitably, devastation ensues when we don’t have a quarterback that can win games. I’m not saying Trusbisky is at the can’t-get-it-done stage yet, but it is sure starting to look like he’s on that path. None of this has anything to do with ACTt Watch: I’m just drunk at LAX and have some shit to say. Alas, here is where we are situated* with 2 weeks remaining:

*The format has changed for the playoffs. Since a 16 is good enough to into The University of Alabama (a public, flagship, state university in the United States of America) as a non-athlete, 16-36 will be the teams that are safe from the ACTt. Anyone not in that category will get a blurb. If you’re off the ACTt line,  I’m sorry, but no blurb for you. Have a player’s meeting: that should help you out.


OG Dumb Bald Turkeys

Settlers of Saquon

Jake from State Farm

Ermahgerd Dehrnerd

Justin Tucker

South Boston Skunk Titties

Grand Rapids Chodes

Hurricane Ditka


The Puppies:

The Road Ahead: The Circle of Life. After his RBs killed him this year, they just might be enough to save him. I don’t know how that is the circle of life, but whatever. I honestly am putting the least amount of effort into this post out of anything I’ve ever done aside from breathing. Not just this blurb, but this entire post. Anyway, here’s an early Vegas scouting report on Jay: As an early-enrollee freshman this past fall, Jay came in and Brough veteran wisdom to a squad that was clearly resting on the laurels of last year’s accomplishments. They did not heed his advice. For the spring Jay will be looking to contribute in a major way as the veterans on the squad will be more receptive to his wisdom and he will be able to create his own shot with more ease.

American College Testing test Odds: 4/1.

Terra Verde Kissin TDs:

The Road Ahead: The Green Bay Packers. Aaron Penisloving Rodgers. I know we have a lot of Lions fans in this league. Please, let Carston and I enjoy this run. I hope we can come together in solidarity and rejoice the Khalil Mack does this to #12. I will be there Sunday. If you want some good #content, follow me on instagram. #likeforlike

American College Testing test Odds: 2/1.

Return of Simba:

The Road Ahead: The Puppies. Have you guys seen that add on the fantasy web browser home page or do you guys only look at fantasy on your phones? Anyway, there is advertising for software developers to join the ESPN Fantasy Team. Simba is likely behind these ads, hoping Jay sends in a resume, gets called, is told that he can’t sit/start players during the interview process, and Simba can prevail.

American College Testing test Odds: 4/1.

CMS Boxmuncher:

The Road Ahead: Locked up with Terra Verde Kissin TDs this week. TVKD has Melvy out, but Keenan Allen put a nice goose dong and OBJ is out this weekend. Can CMS rally and beat TVKD? It’s possible TVKD sits half his players in order to lose so that the Bears win. That’s how pervasive his mental problems are.

American College Testing test Odds: 4/1.